┼פ[A part of an All]¤×┼

I'm so fucking sick of people,
betrayal after betrayal after betrayal.
Disolation, Lies, more and more.


What else can i say?
Can u think that can come and smile at me like if nothing ever happened?

No matter how hard the life gets... without empathy you're more than lost.
Is not about of "walking in other people's shoes" is more like caring for the people u care.
That's the way i managed to do that, i can't feel the way they feel, or understand at all, but i do care, my loved ones are the most important thing to me.

I don't have sweet words, that's true, i'm harsh, at least... but i learn to care about the ones i care. That includes my harshness to them.

I wanted to say to someone that something is very broken inside of me, i certainly can not trust or believe in anybody now, that's true as well, i've my reasons, many reasons, if those are good or lame i can not tell, but i have them.

No matter if someone like me dies tonight, the world will keep on rolling as the sun continues his raising, nothing will change, nor  a dream, nor a feeling, nor a quest, not even those u care about, their only option is keep on rolling, nothing will wait for you, no one will stay, there's no hand to reach out.

I need someone who's not afraid of reaching the stars, someone who dares to fly away with me, a man and not a frightened boy, someone educated enough to enjoy the arts with me, someone smart enough to not be a part of the flock, someone who love laying on the grass to look at the stars and wander about it... are they still sparkling in the distance? I need someone brave enough to face me, someone who fight for his beliefs and willing to stand for it, and for me. I've said before i'm a one who has to be cared or has to be taken care of. Is not that i can't i just that i don't care, i get distracted by the fun of the way.

And i know there's no one, i'm a one from a extinted race. A true lover, as lame as it sounds.


Here i'm surrounded of cowards, no one would ever look at the light of the moon, they have lost of the way, just pretending to be, but at the first sign of dissaproval or danger runs and change, fake chameleons, possers...sheeps.

┼פ[A shout in to nothing]¤×┼

Once again i start to get a little concious of my chaos, so i go to my inner shadow to heal some wounds and to bleed till death,at least a part of me, living has an enormous cost, sometimes the lifes of others, and with their departure a part of my life is taken away, so i keep on dying to breath at the next day.

I've been so busy in this sad sick world, activism, cyberactivism, work, all that i do every day, all my beliefs that seems to be pointless at many times, people just don't care about their own kind, how can i expect that them care about another race, even about this world, this planet...

It's a week since my beloved girl lefted this fucking world, and i can't stand her absens, i cry at the emptiness of her room... her smell has finally faded away... her mate is the most afected, he just lay outside her room all time, her daughter cries a little now and then, her son run into her room to give her toys, or flowers or something, he forget that she's not there anymore, and then go out with his face down... none of them even try to enter at her room, not even when the rain falls... my pack lost a member, and we all miss her so much, that our tears can't dry, in this very moment they're runing on my face...

I got a little sick on this past days, i was on a bussiness trip along with some people from the company where i work as designer, i don't talk about it much in here, and don't talk about the things i do or write in here at work, but just to clear it, i work at an advertising agency, i've a graphic designer degree after all...

But well, i got sick of the people, we had to share a big amount of time so they now know more about me, for example that i am vegan, a proanimal rights, and more goth that they tough :P, they had the opportunity to see my 'real' presence, not the -casual- one i have the tendence to show at work (almost no make-up, jeans, lame t-shirt to put on the lame uniform shirt...), of course they don't even understand what a vegan is, and they even laugh and tried to anger me or something like that each time they eated meat (they even take me to a "butcher's house restaurant" called Angus), i had an awesome dessert (flamed strawberries with chocolate, strawberri liquor and ron)  when they were eating corpses. When we went to the Banamex Center to the expo one of them said "who cares park there" pointing to a handicapped parking space ¬¬ what an asshole ignorant dumb bitch, i just said loud and clear "don't even think so"... and more things like that... i can't stand people, i'm happy with my animal friends i had the fortune to meet an awesome and cute pup, one swiss german sheppard, what a lovely white wolfy... but he reminded me my Cammy so much, he was frigthened at first but then he was waging his tail and licking me, he's a sweet heart, i hope to see him again, big, strong, healty and more important happy, he's at my boss house now...

aah... yeah, the art part... i haven't uploaded anything in months... or years? i've been making a lot of paintings, but i destroyed them again, deleted the digital ones... trowing away others... but i've so many ongoing i hope to finish one or more soon to start to get "at day" again... anyway, i think this is all for the moment, so farewell, till the next crossing path

sign & spread

I have been, very busy, and in a sad way... please read all of this, sign the petition and spread the word...

Taken on 13/08/11


*Note* I used an automatic translator for the note down here, i don't have much time to write it properly.
STOP DOG SLAUGHTERING FOR MONEY

Manuel Baldenebro Arredondo mayor in San Luis Río Colorado, Sonora (México) is giving away money (like 20 us dlls) to citizens in exchange of hunting dogs without home in order to sacrifice them due overpopulation.
Giving away money in exchange of dogs for sacrifice is against society values (AND ILEGAL AUTHORITIES ARE NOT LISTENING), it promotes animal cruelty and also rewards it.
The mayor of SLRC in an interview with an animal protection organization commented that the action taken has worked very well and has no plans to stop.

Twiter Dr. Baldenebro
@ DrBalde Dr. Baldenebro:
If the people of animal welfare value the life of a stray dog over a human being I DO NOT!

After all he said and said this man is cowardly and hypocritical denying everything I just discussed in the news Cadena 3, it is now 20 dollars that were to bring dogs to a shelter and he is in favor of life, this is a INSULT, TO DENY EVERYTHING!
then what about the 17'000 dead dogs?

Is happening what is expected from these aberrant measures, people are bringing their own dogs to get rid of them and also stolen dogs ... unfortunate that not only the performance of the mayor, council and council to approve these outrageous actions but also the people of this city ...
In San Luis Rio Colorado, Sonora, Mayor, Dr. Manuel de Jesus Arredondo Baldenebro offers a lot of money for killing dogs and cats in the municipality, which is unwise as to call people, not know anything about animals exposed to handling and also encourages citizens to cruel.
All this brutality devoid of any sense of ethics and adherence to the law is a bad example for children and young people will learn to be violent and abusive, and that the government will reward the brutality and complicity in the murder of innocents. It is a dangerous to have such people in the public sector.

The problem of the killing of dogs in San Luis Colorado has not stopped, no public servant has responded to the letters that various organizations and independent activists have sent.
The Private Secretary to Dr. Alonso Montes said he did not intend Pineapple invest NOTHING in ethical dog control programs, they believe in the results so far with which seek to destroy at least 60,000 dogs as they are a serious public health problem.
Animals are not things and the modus operandi of these people only evidence: the problem of animal ignorance, lack of channels of solution and form of government that encourages violence, lack of control and social breakdown.
The astonished citizens see how to proceed from the authorities encouraging citizens to abuse, murdered and otherwise the total ignorance of the laws governing the country.
Does he know Mr. Baldenebro that responsible ownership is the main source to solve the problem? Is he aware that their "measures" the only thing that is generating is a more cruel and ignorant to animals? What will stop tomorrow, remove children, the elderly women because they are too and are a problem for the government and society?

Therefore, we so unmediated The removal of this person in public office: Dr. Manuel de Jesus Baldenebro Arredondo (Mayor of San Luis Rio Colorado, Sonora); also asked authorities to intervene and end the slaughter of dogs as each day passes between "talks" more animals are killed and more citizens are wrong idea of the deal for them.

We call a trained person, you can report problems, accountable and committed to social good take that position. No more killings to innocent people who can not defend that result from our lack of education in his tenure.

We make international community aware of this case, ask for your intervention and outside our repudiation of a government that respects no laws, does not educate its citizens and acts of violence

SAN LUIS RIO COLORADO know that I am not, nor all who have commented here, much less the few people who attended the camp, but the international community that the repudiated not only the mayor, its people, 2 years allowing more than 17'000 dogs delivered no doubt people are cruel and without values.

There is no legal provision stipulating that mayors can summon people to catch dogs in exchange for forgiveness of payments, the mayor administrative liability. Furthermore, the absence of any declaration of federal or state health or environment to determine the dogs as a threat to health, is strictly prohibited to kill animals not used for consumption, so that the mayor has violated the Federal Law of Animal Health.

EXPRESS newspaper:

Hermosillo, Son .- In his administration, the mayor of San Luis Rio Colorado, Manuel Arredondo Baldenebro has received 17 000 stray dogs are killed and 200 pesos of debt written off with the commune to the person who delivered.

Recently, groups in favor of the animals showed their discontent through social networks, where they were cataloged to the municipal border of the murderer, saying that there are better ways to take care of the canine overpopulation. For his part, he says that this has "blown" in recent days due to political issues.

Baldenebro Arredondo explained that this program that began with his administration aims to join the other activities of, such as sterilization twice a week and adoption of homeless animals, adding that he is against animal sacrifice, and would prefer sterilization, but says it is necessary to solve the problem.

"We found that the stray dogs in San Luis is a health problem, because stray dogs are a vector for infections of the skin, apart from weather, is a problem for people allergic asthma in situations and promote infections " said him.

He added that the municipality has a census of 70 000 dogs, stray and no, the aim is to control them, for this reason we sought this measure, but said it is not about creating a hunting dog, accepted as only a dog x house to make valid the discount.

As for how it carries out the process, the Mayor of San Luis said that it is a human process in which first the pet sleeps and then injected with a substance that stops his heart and "suffer any pain. "
Yeah just look the photo and try to tell me that again....
 _____

This is the petition:

http://www.change.org/peti​tions/manuel-baldenebro-ar​redondo-stop-dog-slaughter​ing-for-money
_____

The note in Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/notes/lux-astoreth-tenebras/stop-dog-slaughtering-for-money/257360884291836

___

Spanish version:
http://www.facebook.com/notes/lux-astoreth-tenebras/san-luis-rio-colorado-pueblo-de-gente-cruel-y-sin-valores/255727174455207

Alemuchien~

Querida Malquerida, esto es culpa mía, fui demasiado cortés y paciente contigo, ya te había dicho que tendría consecuencias, te recomiendo internarte en el psiquiátrico de tu elección cuanto antes, quizá tu cerebro no sea aún una pérdida total, mucha terapia y psicotrópicos podrían darte una personalidad autosuficiente. También consigue un diccionario, así sabrás un poco mejor lo que te diga la gente y quizá comprendas, además de aprender a escribir como la persona en edad y nivel profesional que se supone que eres.

Así mismo, te recomiendo comenzar a quererte un poquito y aceptarte, y a ver las cosas como son, hay un viejo y conocido refrán que dice que no hay más ciego que el que no quiere ver, aunque tú no lo pienses, creas, ni aceptes, no cargo ninguna culpa, porque jamás hice algo indebido, pues yo valoro mis creencias y forma de vida. Si alguien me miente y/o engaña lo natural es ser desechado, y lo sano es con un poco de dolor que sane en lugar de ira que cezca, cuando uno acepta las cosas y no se engaña así mismo encuentra la paz, ya te he dicho que si tú no eres capaz de encontrar la paz en tu vida no vengas a perturbar la mía

Pero si quieres aferrarte a tus mentiras sigue en tu llanto agrio a diario, púdrete en las emanaciones tóxicas de tus entrañas, no vengas a contaminar mi espacio, se harán las notificaciones pertinentes para los procesos de limpieza, a mi no me importa lo que hagas, ni con quien lo hagas, mucho menos lo que alguien que se miente a sí mismo y engaña a los demás haciéndose la víctima.


En otras cosas aledañas deja de frecuentar mis páginas, yo escribo y digo lo que se me ocurre en el momento, así parezca cíclico en ocasiones, ya que reflexiono las cosas y las analizo a veces de más, son cosas que escribo para recordar de esos momentos las palabras, lo dejo público porque en primer lugar no me molesta que se sepa como soy, no tengo que esconder y nunca tendré, y en segundo porque a veces, las personas cercanas y alguno que otro desconocido aportan comentarios enriquecedores o que me sirven para ver otras perspectivas.
Para contestarte lo demás, yo no "creo páginas para hablar de alguien" uno sólo tiene derecho a hablar de sí mismo, jamás pondría las palabras de otros, o las fotos de otros porque eso sería invasión a confianza y vida ajena. Incluso mi propia página dice ego, ego= yo por ende hablo de mí y sólo de mí. Cuando enlisto un "sentimiento" hablo de él por si mismo, jamás de una persona, pues al ponerle cara a los sucesos se pierde el enfoque, y así, al mantenerlo impersonal se puede crear fluidez de intercambio. En fin, deja de buscar aquí lo que no hay, enfrenta las cosas en tu vida y apártate del camino de otros, en especial de aquellos que no tienen nada que ver contigo, frecuenta a tus amigos a las personas que quieres, enfócate a ellos, y si eso no te basta para conocerte y conocerlos... me importa nada, te he bloqueado de todo lo demás porque me dan urticaría las falacias no pensadas y la verborrea sin estructura lineal ni arquitectura, ahora he desactivado los anónimos de este lugar as well, lo cual considero una pérdida lamentable y restrictiva.

Trata con todo tu ser de buscarte una vida y vivirla, de quererte para que dejes de intentar forzar a otros, de encontrar en tí y en los tuyos la serenidad para ser y estar, los intrusos son siempre hechados, las alimañas eliminadas, nadie mantiene en casa la basura.

┼פ[Hunting for a Dream]¤×┼

Am I hunting for a dream?


Oh i used to think that,
running in the night,
swimming throught tears,
sadness, anger....
what's the difference?

Nothing has changed.
No, i'm wrong. A lot has changed.
My soul, my heart, even the air is not the same.

But myself remains, i'm alive...
just because i haven't stop breathing,
i don't have anything to keep going...

Yeah, still sometimes i look at the sky and don't even want to try,
living without porpouse, without wishes, without desires...
what the heck is this suppossed to be? the so called life?

I don't want it. Just vanish.
I can't see you, i can't hear you,
I CAN'T FEEL YOU

But i remember, i remember the long lost memories,
i'm closing my wounds, stiching them with sorrow,
my flesh is rotting, my soul is dying, my heart...

Where is my heart?

Ah... that's right...
is on the kiss of the wind,
in the light of the moon,
in the cry of the stars...
is on the eyes of my 'kids',
my lovely animal companies...
their fanged smiles... the hugs of their paws...
 is on the ones i still care...
but day by day i care for less. 

Oh my dearest dear...
when will i be able to reach you?
when you will hold me close?
I don't want this, never wanted this.
My death, when you'll come for me?

I don't belong to this world,
this world doesn't belongs to me,
i 've felted that in the very earth since the first day,
i can't continue this... i don't want this human life,
why do i have to born human?
 How can i go back to be what i used to be?
I don't remember how to get back my claws...
this spell, this curse... how can i break it?

Only death can free me,
and i can't summon it...
a promise prevents me from suicide,
even when i can't think in other thing,
i'll continue being alive... as long as my i don't stop breathing.

But i refuse to do it, i refuse to fight for it, there's no life for me in this world...
How i wish for go back to the deep dark abyss that conceived me.
Or for a final and true death...

I don't have any reason or will to continue living.
This is not a complaint... is not a pray...
i just ask... why anybody gives me one?

A lot talk, a few sweet talk, but...
no ones do anything...
they give up so easily...
that's the reason i can't trust you,
i'll neve trust in someone who says one thing and does another,
not in someone who can't keep their word...
i'm not a one who ask someone to do things for me,
neither "proofs" of so called "love",
but when someone says that will do something, and don't...
i can't be helped, i become dissapointed about that person...

Ah again my writing is random about many things...
but i don't care... i know that there's no one to read this besides me,
and, in the case of someone read this, will not care... cuz i always say what i tought,
and this is a small part... of all my inner chaos